Election Time Predicting!

Greetings Friends!

First offs, I am deeply most troubled sorries for my absence. I know many peoples and childrens read this "blogging" every single day and I have disgraced them and ashamed and embarrassed me for having been away so long.

Luckily, these new elections are coming up and I have decided to do some guessing on the resultings of these things. So here it goes:

1) Mr. President Bush will win again!

Yes, a bold predicting, I know, but I am fairly certain of this outcome. From the things which I hear out there, Mr. Bush does not have so popular a friendliness out there. But that is his strongest points as he always has that "eighth hour" comeback potentialies. So he will win!

2) Mr. Barak Obama will detonate a bomb in the US!

Is it just a coincidence that this fellow, Mr. Obama, has a name very much like a certain terrorism out there...? I don't know about you, but it makes me a little scared and frightening when he is with all these peoples out there and campaigning and everything. Perhaps he will use this chance of confidence to really get his secretly evil plottings going. My bets are yes!



3) Space aliens will return to Earth!

This one is perhaps not so fancy a guess as my other ones up there. We all pretty much knew this is true anyways, so that is alls I really needed to say here!


Well, that's all what I have here for today. Let's go watch the elections and see if I am right or not? Who knows, I might be half right, full right, or maybe one quarter right on these guessings here. Only time will tell!

Former Ex-Not President Kerry Makes Bad Jokes!

The man who did not become President in the last time we did some elections here, Mr. John Kerry, turns out to be a senator from Massachusetts. I guess, too, Mr. Kerry does not make so good with the joking either because he said something pretty bad earlier on this Monday. Mr. Kerry said some troops who were not so smart in the educations were stuck in Iraq!

Yikes!

This was a big mistake, it turns out, and Mr. Kerry was very sorries for his problems with making bad jokes.

"As a combat veteran, I want to make it clear to anyone in uniform and to their loved ones: my poorly stated joke at a rally was not about, and never intended to refer to any troop," Kerry said in a statement published on his Web site.

It seems like Mr. Kerry probably was trying to say something very different, such as, "If you dummies didn't try to not go to the schools so much, then maybe we could help you by sending you over to the Iraq schools instead!" Or maybe he was trying to make a funny little joke here about how President George Bush made a mistake about failing out of medical school and doing the drugs instead of making them.

I guess the funniest part of the whole thing is probably how this incident was not really too funny at all. Oh well, let's hope this doesn't make everyone stay out from the voting. Remember to do your elections this month to make us some great leaders! Go vote!

It's Halloween Time!

So the Halloween Time is here once again and it's time to party! This day is not so scary as the 13th of Friday that came this October (see my "blogging" the day of that frightened event, but bewared that it is very scary!) because mostly instead it is the time for making fun! In fact, this day has a very long history in time which I can share some information on right now.

Halloween started a long time ago, probably about 2 million years ago or so when the cavemens were still walking around. Dinosaurs were the biggest problems that these cavemens and cavewomans ran into on the daily basis. So, to try to fight them, they needed a way to make the dinosaurs very scared. Since most of the dinos were not really too scared (mostly because of their big teeth and large appetites), the cavemens were really in a big trouble.

So one day, they made a new holiday were no one had to work. And when the dinosaurs were busier sleeping and doing chores at they homes and that sorts of thing, the cavemens killed them all with the pumpkins brimmed full of the burning lava. Since it worked so well for these guys to get rid of those dinosaurs, they all agreed to keep on celebrating for the rest of time! So now today we get to do the same thing when we go Trick Or Treating or making some Jack O Laterns and that sorts of stuff. Have fun sharing this story with your friends on this Halloween Time!

A New Movie Comes Out Soon!

The Mr. Borat Sagdiyev, a well-known TV reporter-journalist from the country of Kazakhstan, just made a new movie for all of us to enjoys! I would like to say more about this fascinating topic today, but I think there is probably most of the things already said by the great Borat himself.

For those of you who do not know of Mr. Sagdiyev, I will tell you a little about him. Sometimes he makes interviews for Da Ali G Show. Mostly though Mr. Sagdiyev has been very busy working on his movie and doing the promotional works to make people know a lot about him.

Well, I know I'll be there to see the movie! How about you?

Heaviest Element Ever Seen Anywhere Around!

Woah, these scientists are certainly very busy peoples making all sorts of new experiments every day! It looks like some new tests done by scientists on some elements made a new element in the pretty recent past here. According to these real smartest peoples:

A team of Russian and American scientists said yesterday that it had created the heaviest element ever seen in a laboratory, a dab of matter that lasted for less than one-thousandth of a second but would add an entry at the farthest reaches of the periodic table and suggest that strange new elements may lie beyond.

So I recently got some educations to let me know how to use the Internets more better than I have before and I did some researching to discover just how heavier the heaviest element, besides new #118 sciene element, there is out there in our world. I found from Google searching and Yahoo searching that this type of Element, the one known as a Honda Element 2006 in this photo here, is pretty heavier. In fact, it is weight of almost 3,500 pounds! That sounds like a lot right there!

These scientists what made this new element number 118 then must have had some real heavily-duty tough guy tables to hold this heavy thing! (Note: 118 new element is probably very more heavy than 4,000 pounds by my calculations) In fact, I have found an elusive photos of this big table that maybe these scientists used in their experimenting.

This picture seems to show some small scientists running around making experiments. In reality, those scientists are actually real-life full-size peoples! I know, I did not believe this at first, but my friend who knows a lot about this things tells me it's true! This could be the biggest table ever in history to hold the heaviest new element 118 in history! I sure hope someday us normal peoples who aren't scientists might have a chance to use this table. Maybe if all of us write in to Ikea, it will happen. Let's see what we can do!

God Loves Michelle Bachmann!

Well, Ms. Michell Bachmann, who is a hopeful candidate for the Congress in the Sixth District in Minnesota has found out that God really loves her a lot. I mean, I am talking about more than God loves most other people (He never told me to run for an election before...). I guess Ms. Bachmann prayed and didn't eat for three days and then God told her she should run for Congress! That's pretty lucky for her!

I guess this fellow here, Mr. Mac Hammond, even said he would vote for Ms. Bachmann personally, even though his chuch cannot vote her! Then it turns out that the Pastor Hammond cannot even vote for Ms. Bachmann. I mean, that tells you right there that she must be a really great politician for someone who can't even vote for her to try to do it anyway.

See, my question is though, what's with the need for elections for Ms. Bachmann anyway? Because if the God of everything already wants her in, and people who can't vote for her want her to be the next Congresswoman for the Sixth District for Minnesota in the House of Representatives, what is the real point to even do some elections?

I don't really know what other people think, but I am a big fan of not making the God really angry. I hear He has done some bad things before in the past to people that weren't really at the top of his list. And voting against God is probably a certain way to get to His list there right near the top of it. So really, we all should probably hope that Ms. Bachmann gets to be in the Congress because we don't really want to die by God. Let's go Ms. Bachmann 2006!

Mr. President Bush = Brilliance!

Once again, the Mr. President George W. Bush has demonstrated his overly incredible intelligence at being the smartest man alive! Just recently, Mr. Bush wrote up a law that he signed at a recent party with his best friends to make sure that the USA treats people very well. According to our friends over on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean (one of four major oceans in our world) in the land called the United Kingdom or sometimes Britain (and once in a while English), our President said:

"These military commissions will provide a fair trial in which the accused are presumed innocent, have access to an attorney, and can hear all the evidence against them. These military commissions are lawful, they are fair, and they are necessary."

At the same time, this new law of ours also:

The bill forbids treatment of detainees that would constitute war crimes - such as torture, rape and biological experiments - but gives the president the authority to decide which other techniques interrogators can use.

At the tribunals, defendants will be allowed to see some - but not necessarily all - of the evidence against them. The law also bars non-US citizens from filing habeas corpus petitions challenging their detentions in federal court.

But really, that must be the very brilliance of this smart and intelligent manuevering by our President. I'm not a real expert on the laws or on the politics (but I do like to read about both of them) so I don't know how a law can do all these great things our President says and also do these other things at the same time. But really, that just proves my point of our smart President here!

I wonder what great laws our President Mr. Bush will make in the future? Probably some really good ones if we give him enough time, so maybe we should all vote for him in the next presidential election. We'll see what happens!

Doomsday the 13th on a Friday of October!

Note: This "blogging" is not for the faint of heart as there are many vicious pictures and highly disturbings notices of real-world facts in this "blogging." Little childrens, grandmas, and others with weak hearts should look away.

So I know most of you, my adoring fan readers, have come to rely on me as your "go to" source for the informations on urgent matters pressing our lives daily. Typically, these sorts of things range from the topics of "Welcome" to "Uh Oh Congressman" (to randomly select some of my posts). Well, todays "blogging" is no less important than these important things, although many of you may not have realized the treacheries that exist right next to us today.

That is right, I am speaking about the fact that today is Friday, October 13, 2006!

Now normally such days as Fridays and Octobers and 2006s are no real big concern. You probably wake up and say to yourself, "Hey guy (or lady), what a good Friday (or October, or 2006) it is!" But today you probably wanted to call your mommy and make tears and dig a small bastion of sanctuary under the bed covers. I know, I did too. Which is why I am sharing with you this story told by many peoples before me.

You see, Friday the 13th of October is usually a fiendish day when various demons and devils from all over the lands try to attack humans and make them all go away. These bad sorts of creatures try to make very bad things happen like rivers of bloods and boiling skins and hair falling out and wars and things. Needless to say, and for the sake of the childrens, I will not go into much detail.

Thank goodness these fiends are not very strong and usually the forces of good defeat them in an all-out struggle. These fightings go on for a long time, but since this "blogging" is so long already, I suppose I will have to talk about them on some other time. (If we should be luckier enough to survive until then!) Until then, let's keep our fingers crossed and hope that bad things do not happen to all of us!

Uh Oh Congressman! (Part 2 AKA Not Mr. Foley)

This fellow (not Horatio Sans, but the other guy), Mr. Harry Reid, the Democratic leader of the Senate, just turned out to have told a big lying. He did this lie a while ago, but no one found out about it until now. Mr. Reid's troubles began a long time ago in a land far away called "Las Vegas." (A geographical note: I am not sure where "Las Vegas" is, but it sounds exotic, like perhaps it is in the continent of France or Europe somewhere.)

From the Post of Washington:

Reid and his wife purchased the land in Clark County, on the outskirts of Las Vegas, in 1998 for $400,000. The acquisition was done in tandem with an adjacent property that was bought by Reid's friend of 35 years, Jay Brown, a former casino lawyer whose name has surfaced over the years in organized-crime investigations, according to the AP. Brown has never been charged with criminal wrongdoing, the AP added.

Apparently Reid made the property for a business later, but did not tell his friends doing lawmaking that he didn't own the land anymore. Not very much later, he sold it and made some monies when he got $1.1 millions of dollars for the sale.

So now Mr. Reid has lots of monies to do things like build a new home, buy some children, or eat a lot of candy. He could probably even go into business for himself for saying something like: "If you give me monies, I can make a laws for you!" Maybe this business plan would not work so well though, because right now Mr. Reid was supposed to be beating up some Republicans to try to make some progress in these elections we are having next month in November. So maybe this would be a bad thing to say out loud, but maybe he could still say that sort of thing in private.

I'm not really so smart about politics, but I think Mr. Reid might "borrow" the plan of Mr. Foley to try to dodge these claims. For example, he could say, "I am addicted to snow cones and was eating very many of the snow cones when I made this land transfer, and again when I made the lies, and again when I sold it, and again right now!" Then he could check into the premiere rehab clinic for such snow cone addicts. That would be a sad story if it turns out to be true, so let's hope that Mr. Reid instead can overcome these battles and go forward in the elections fighting! Stay strong Mr. Reid!

Exotic Travel (via "blogging") to Thailand!

So this fellow here, Mr. Prime Minister Surayud Chulanont, now gets to run Thailand. He has taken over the family business of running the country from his long-lost brother, Mr. Former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, in order to keep things lively over there. Apparently Mr. ex-Thaksin did not do some things very well, because his pops kicked him out when he went away to visit the Nations United in New York City (USA). Somewhere along the way, Mr. King Bhumibol Adulyadej decided it would be best to have a new prime minister and now Mr. Prime Minister Surayud Chulanont rules things over there in Thailand.

The King seems to have most of the things over control there in Thailand, though, because he told the Associated Press in an article done by the Microsoft National Broadcasting Corporation news company:

“Many people are saying bad things about Thai people,” the king said. “Foreigners say that Thailand is not good. So we have to correct that. If we don’t correct it, the reputation of our country will be bad.”

This Mr. King fellow seems to have very many brains to making comments so clear and correct as these. In fact, I am not even sure how anyone could argue with his statement!

So, seeing this intelligence of the King, and saying first off that I don't know very much about the things happening in far off lands, it does seem to me that it would be better to be a King than a Prime Minister. (Someone correct me if I am wrong here in this guessing...) After all, I believe it was the Lion King who once said, "I just can't wait to be king!" I have never heard of any lions saying something like, "I just can't wait to be the Prime Minister!" Maybe though some lions might say, "I just got made the new Prime Minister?" (Hint: the question mark means the second lion is confused.)

So why does Mr. Surayud decide to become Prime Minister instead of being the new King Bumibol Adulyadej? This sounds like a great question to ask him someday, but right now he is very busy making with the new martial law over there in Thailand. So maybe we can instead get the investigative reporters of the Associated Press to some discovering instead. We'll see!

Is Right Now The Best Time For Nuclears?

It looks like the Northern Korea blew up some nuclears earlier this week. From what I can gather, they were very trickier in deciding to do this explosion under the Earth. Or maybe, as Fox News says:

Meanwhile, the White House said the world may never be able to confirm North Korea's claim that it had successfully tested a nuclear weapon on Monday.

So really, if you are anyone who wants to make some nuke'ems, then this must be the best time. For example, there is an abundance of Earth, although most of our planet is made up of water. (I know, I didn't believe it either, but check this out!) And apparently, if you are smart about these testings, then no one will even know what it is you have done! But the funny part about that is how to do you prove your nuclears are working?

Obviously, this creates a problem that most likely no one can ever fix, otherwise people would probably be making all sorts of testings everywhere, all the time. But maybe, that is exactly what this man, Mr. Kim Jong Il, who leads the Northern Korea, wants us to believe. After all, I have heard some rumors that suggest he does not like people who do not listen to him. One time, in a movie called Team America: World Police, he even did some bad things, although I won't say much more so that you will not be ruined by listening to me. Needless to say, he doesn't seem too friendly! So if his whole goal was to trick everyone, then maybe he is the smartest man alive...

I have tried to ask Mr. President George W. Bush his thoughts on this issue, but so far he has not returned my phone calls. Until then, I suppose the only thing we know for certain is that if you want to build some nuclears and explode them underground and not get caught, right now may be the perfect time of all. This world sure is a scary place!

Marijuanas Affect The Memories!

CNN just told me here that marijuana affects the memory. From the CNNs it states:

New research shows that the active ingredient in marijuana may prevent the progression of the disease by preserving levels of an important neurotransmitter that allows the brain to function.

Apparently, marijuanas can make you remember things longer into your lifetime. All you need to do is eat this wonderful new drug and Alzheimer's will be made to go away.

Now, I'm no expert on drugs or anything (someone once said they thought I was a pharmacist, but I'm fairly sure this is not true, although I don't know how to become a pharmacist, so maybe I really am one...?), but the film called "Half Baked" led me to believe that marijuanas can make you forgetful. Half Baked, in case you have not seen it, is a documentary on the real-life troubles faced by one man who accidentally kills a horse cop (note: it's a horse who is a cop, not a half-man, half-horse cop) and the love of his friends who wish to get him out of the prison.

Anyway, maybe Mr. Anderson Cooper can explain this difficulties for us. I think he is busy right now in the Africa, but when he comes back, he will probably help to explain this troubling issue for us. Until then, let's keep up the fight against the Alzheimer's!

John Dennis Hastert Needs Food... NOW!

Mr. J. Denny Hastert needs food now, very badly. I came to this conclusion upon sighting two pictures of the formidable House Speaker, each several years apart. In this first picture Mr. Hastert seems to be signifying that he would be happier, if only he had a ham hock between his hands (or perhaps his happiness would increase exponentially if he had a ham hock in each of his hands. Alas, this is not for me to know.)

It has also been suggested by some astute readers with eyes closely attuned to subtle nuances, that Mr. Hastert may simply be trying to clap, or perhaps crush the microphone in his hands. Both of these silly explanations are completely silly, however, and in fact they would only not be silly if an infants made this remark to the board of governors. You see, if Mr. Hastert were really to clap, the sound would be so loud that he would make all the heads of Congresspersons blow up and perhaps even cause the Capitol to sink into the ground. While this might create another Atlantis located at the bottom of the Potomac (very exciting!), it would also most likely destroy Mr. Hastert in the process (not really as exciting, and probably not very good for Mr. Hastert). And crushing a microphone really makes no sense because his hands are much too large to grasp onto such small devices.

And this photograph -- what some may call an "artist's rendition" depiciting "dramatized events" -- Mr. Hastert has clearly grown exponentially. Apparently it is because he has been eating little mens called "dummycrats." It is unclear from this photo exactly what a dummycrat is, but I believe it is a delicacy from Mr. Hastert's home district, perhaps something akin to a crawdad or other arthropod. It is difficult to tell, however, and perhaps, if another photographer can get closer without being ensnared in evil Jabba the Hastert's maw, we may finally identify this likely near-extinct dummycrat.

Only time will tell how large Mr. Hastert may grow. And this brings me to the topic of this post. You see, should Mr. Hastert continue to expand, soon he will become a planet. Specifically, he will become planet X5J3780, a small body orbiting far from the sun, but nonetheless exhibiting incredible magnetic, electric, and gravitational powers capable of destroying most things by simply looking at them. I would post a picture of this future Mr. Hastert, but I am afraid for the childrens that read this regularly and believe they would only be very afrightened and cry to their mommies incessantly. So to prevent this, I have not posted this picture here.

In conclusion, let's all help Mr. Hastert acheive his life's dream and get him food now. Thank you.

Wow, you are lucky!

This is my number second post of the morning already. I feel like you are very taken aback by my overwhelming generosity and should be amazed that a person who is as busy as me has the time to even spend his time writing two notes in one day! If I am not a proflific "blogging" I don't know who is!

So let's see what is going on in our world today:

For starters, Mr. Mark Foley appears to have gotten himself into trouble recently. And to top things off, he makes him self scarce by resigning, checking into rehab, and admitting he was molested himself as a child.

Lessons We Have Learned

If you want to write dirty emails and make teenage pages very afraid of you, here is your checklist:

1) Drink a lot of alcohols
2) Send naughty emails
3) Pay a lot of money to people running the elections campaigning
4) Blame the alcohols (but do so indirectly and discretely, lawyers are particularly good at these revelations)
5) Reveal a stunning dark secret from your past (see the note for number 4)

Voila! You are now free from getting the first through fifth degrees from anyone on your own destructive behavior. In fact, if you time your resignation and fall from grace carefully, you may get your superiors (like the man who speaks for your whole office) into trouble and accidentally (wink, wink) cause your peers to all lose their jobs in a few weeks.

Will this diabolical scheme be successful? Will the world explode? Will more people follow this plan? Only time will tell!

P.S. I think it's possible Mr. Foley stole his routine from Mr. Mel Gibson. My investigators are still discovering the roots of this matter and will report back soon on the results.

Welcome

Welcome to "Let's Make Garbage: The most fun blog that ever existed!"

The number of goals I am in possession of include three:

1) Have a sustained readership of millions of persons each daily
2) Write on this "blogging" at least 3 times a week
3) Make garbage!

I hope this will be successful, since I have no real experience at this "blogging" and am not any sort of professional writer or anything like that. So let's begin!